Why Be Monogamous?

My Observer cover story and a train journey without AirPods

Good morning. I’m currently sitting on a hot train headed outside of London, drinking a Pret latte and a fizzy water. I forgot my AirPods, which usually make me feel cocooned in a dark and private writing bubble. Instead I am getting SUCKED IN to the world of the train carriage. A businessman wearing a pale blue shirt caresses his laptop keyboard. We catch eyes. The toilets splutter a scattershot sound which I mistake for a Skee Mask track. The train conductor tells everyone to “sit back and try and relax,” but the emphasis lands on the word “try” - like he’s about to yank out my wisdom teeth or slide a copper coil up my vagina - and his words hang in the air, curt and intimate and off-kilter.

I am on assignment — about to do some POLITICAL reporting in Ashton-in-Makerfield. For my non-UK readers, Makerfield was somewhere that many Londoners hadn’t heard of until a few weeks ago, but has rapidly become “the epicentre” of British politics. It all kicked off when Makerfield’s Labour MP resigned his seat in the House of Commons, triggering a by-election. Andy Burnham, the Mayor of Greater Manchester, is now running to become Makerfield’s new Labour MP. This is important because if Burham wins, he will likely challenge Kier Starmer for the position of Prime Minister. But it’s all up in the air, because it’s going to be a close call with Reform… so the future of the country really hangs in the balance with what happens in Makerfield over the next few days. I’m going to hang out in some pubs and do a vibe-check.

In other news, I wrote The Observer’s cover story this weekend, which explored why Gen Zers were opting to be in monogamous relationships as polyamorous relationships shift into the mainstream. Why was Gen Z - the most LGBTQ+ generation and the most likely age group to have fantasies involving kink and BDSM - also the most likely age group to want to be in a sexually exclusive relationship ?? (according to data from Feeld). So I interviewed nine young monogamous couples about why they decided to become exclusive, what keeps them together, how they were keeping traditions alive and how they were rewriting the rules. Their stories were juicy and cosy and vulnerable and silly and sexy… and you can read the article here.

I was going to tell you some things I’ve been reading recently but the train is pulling in so I’ll tell you soon and I’m sorry if there are typos in this !